People come to me with really fucked up situations. The one that bothers me the most is sexual problems in their relationship. I'm going to assume that the majority of straight folks have this misconception that fags have a regular and active sex life. Hate to break the news, it's not all that. Eleven years in my relationship and the bad ain't a rockin' because no ones got a cock in. I cannot offer a solution as to how to get that spark to fuck back in your life. Through my conversations with many sexually frustrated people, I have identified a single factor of when peoples sex lives seem to go down the shitter. Many want to live in denial. These are the same people who call their kids cute. People with cute kids don't refer to them as cute. Every time I hear someone call their kid cute, I wait in fear. They usually show up with some Downs kid or the brat has a million tubes shoved up its head. Sorry, nothing cute about that.
This is the key, the shitter. The first time your sexual partner takes a dump in front of you, or with the door open, kiss your sex life good bye. Go spend all the money you want on therapy. In the end, you will still think of what I am telling you and realize I pin pointed the moment it all began going down hill. It makes sense if you think about it. People don't take a dump in front of their bosses, parents, good friends, or anyone they have respect towards. Also, did you take a dump on your first date with your current sexual partner? Hell no! The whole concept of stinking up your pad or date's place when your a new sexual prospect was present goes beyond mortifying for most. Suddenly, a few good fucks mixed in with time, then the shitting begins. Some make it years before their sexual partner takes on the casual attitude of open poops. For the few and lucky, they are never forced to endure this lack of respect. Those are the ones who always seem to have the active sex lives.
Some years back I met a great guy. He was the mayor of an affluent Detroit suburb, good looking, funny, and seemed like quite the catch. Our second date he came to my home. Not five minutes in the door he asks to use my bathroom. My house has two and a half baths - the half bathroom being the least private. Naturally the dumb ass picks the half bathroom. Suddenly there was an ass explosion coming from behind the door. I'm talking the kind you know will leave shit splatters on the underside of the toilet seat. What the fuck was that all about? The guy passed God knows how many restaurants and gas stations during the half hour drive to my place. It does not take a rocket scientist to pick a McDonald's restroom to blow apart thus not destroying the chance of getting laid. I never went out with the guy again. Getting past that massive shit he took in my bathroom just was too much.
Another time I was in the mood for cheap bar sex. I hook up with this guy and we end up back at his place. Things are getting heavy when he excuses himself to the bathroom. This time I didn't hear the shit in progress, but when that door opened, I sure as hell smelled it. Boom, moment killed. Who the fuck would have causal sex with a stranger that just took a huge shit? I could maybe have continued had this guy showered, but no way was I going down the dump and fuck road.
Since we won't tolerate dumping while dating, why would it become attractive once we are in a committed relationship? Hence my point, it will kill your sex life in a relationship. The image of your sexual partner sitting on the toilet pinching out corn and God knows what else, is scaring. It ranks right up there with finding a used tampon in the trash.
If you are still in the early stages of a relationship, do yourself the favor and always shit in private. You will thank me for this.
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